Oscar Picks 2013

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Award season is somewhat akin to high school “Most Likely To…” awards, which is to say they are pretty much popularity contests. Hollywood’s annual circle jerk is in full flex tonight with the Oscar Awards and far be it from me to miss an opportunity to chime in on the annual orgy of self flagellation.

In a perfect world, Zero Dark Thirty would sweep the Oscars because, simply put, it was the best movie of 2012. As if we needed reminding, Hollywood will once again show us we don’t live in a perfect world.

Nonetheless, here are some of my predictions for tonight’s bukkake:

BEST ACTOR
Will Win – Daniel Day Lewis

Should Win – Daniel Day Lewis
Yep. He’s that good. The movie itself is boring (gasp, how dare I?) but if you appreciate amazing acting, there was no better movie in 2012.

BEST ACTRESS
Will Win – Jessica Chastain

Should Win – Jennifer Lawrence
Both performances are worthy and Jennifer Lawrence was great. Could go either way. I actually just changed this to Jessica Chastain.

BEST DIRECTOR
Will Win – Steven Spielberg

Should Win – Anyone other than Steven Spielberg.
Which is not to say he doesn’t deserve it, he does. But he has raised the bar so high that continuing to reward him is to neglect what the award would mean to someone else. It’s like giving acting awards to Meryl Streep. We get it, they’re amazing.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Will Win – Alan Arkin
Should Win – Alan Arkin.
Alan Arkin should always win. Period.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Will Win – Helen Hunt
Should Win – Any of them.
Sally Field could upset, but if awards are truly based on performance (which I admit they are not) then this should be Helen Hunt’s.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Will Win – Quentin Taratino – Django Unchained
Should Win – Mark Boal – Zero Dark Thirty
Tarantino has proven time and time again to be a real voice for American cinema and Boal is just as deserving here. Could go either way, but I suspect we’re still too emotionally close to waterboarding for Boal to win.

BEST ADOPTED SCREENPLAY
Will Win – Chris Terrio – Argo
Should Win – David O. Russell – Silver Linings Playbook
Sure, Russell has a bit of a reputation as being an asshole, but he has always tackled deeper issues in his films (Spanking the Monkey, anyone?) and somehow makes them work, very very well. His reputation could haunt him in the Directors category, but for writing it shouldn’t. Sadly, I don’t think the Academy can pass by the opportunity to slap itself on the back. The fake movie within a movie concept to save lives is about as clever as Hollywood can get. Added points for historical relevance and emotional impact.

BEST PICTURE
Will Win – Argo
Should Win – Zero Dark Thirty
I’m not sure the Academy can pass an opportunity to stress Hollywood’s importance or pseudo relevance to history or saving lives…or the fact that they ignored Ben Affleck for Best Director.

Make your own picks HERE.

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